TIP #8 | Consider the "Dreaded Question"
Practicing a response to your most confounding question is the best preparation
Welcome to new subscribers! Thank you for joining us. This Substack is dedicated to helping people everywhere communicate more effectively about difficult topics. The pieces go in order so if you haven’t started at the beginning, go back to the main page and scroll down.
To review:
Tip #1 - be brave and decide to have the difficult conversation.
Tip #2 - communicate to solve the problem.
Tip #3 - say as much as you can upfront and get it behind you.
Tip #4 - don't say everything! Leave out the unhelpful bits.
Tip #5 - use words we all understand. Be inclusive.
Tip #6 - people will make up their own facts if you don’t start talking. Get in the fray.
In Tip #7, I recommended getting down to business by making a thorough review of the expected questions to come up with the appropriate answers. That's great preparation so I suggest doing that once you settle into the task of deciding exactly what you want to say.
But there’s a bonus tip that follows closely behind it that needs some time and attention.
I wish I could give credit where it’s due, but in this case I can’t remember the first person who suggested that the best preparation for a difficult conversation is to consider the “dreaded question.” You know, the one that you’re hoping against hope and bargaining with God that you don’t get asked.
The great thing is that if you prepare an answer to the question you think is the most challenging, then all of the other questions will seem like a breeze.
Let’s consider the sample scenario we looked at in Tip #2 and Tip #7. You’re the coach of a little league team and the parent who handles the financial details has been charged with fraud.
For me, the dreaded question from parents, the league, corporate sponsors, and the media would be something like this, “As the coach of the team, are you regularly meeting with the team treasurer to go over the finances? And if you aren’t, why not? Isn’t this ultimately your failure?”
Math is my Achilles’ heel. Back in the day when we had to balance our checkbooks, I didn’t because I stunk at accounting. So this would be the line of questioning I would fear the most.
The dreaded question may be different from one person to the next, and yours might be one of the evergreens we talked about in Tip #7.
Whatever it is, spend at least as much time practicing your response to it as you do all the others. Working up a response will be so good for your confidence. I guarantee that it will work wonders on your mental state as you enter the conversation.
Think of it, if you are able to answer the question that rattles you the most, you will be able to answer anything!
Let’s move along to Tip # 9 - click here for a link. Here’s a preview; it’s not going to be perfect, but you have to say something anyway. People will be grateful to hear from you and give you the benefit of the doubt if you try to fix it.