If you watch TV, you're probably familiar with the Allstate commercial featuring Mr. Mayhem. In a recent ad, he's shown doing silly dance moves on the sidewalk for a social media hashtag challenge video that he expects will receive "tens and tens" of views. “Tens and tens” doesn’t sound like much, but maybe it’s just enough to begin building momentum that sparks change.
There are now “tens and tens” of you who have subscribed to Tough Talk. Sure, it would be great if there were hundreds of you, and hopefully that day will come. In the meantime, I’m counting on all of you to put these tips into practice so we can spark change in how we address difficult issues with clarity and purpose. Thank you for being here and don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to work through something with me.
And now, to review the tips we’ve already covered. If you’re new, just head back to number one and start there if you want to read it all. The posts are 2-3 minute reads, so it will be worth your time. Or check out the recap below and just hit the ones you want to know more about.
Tip #1 - be brave and decide to have the difficult conversation.
Tip #2 - communicate to solve the problem.
Tip #3 - say as much as you can upfront and get it behind you.
Tip #4 - don't say everything! Leave out the unhelpful bits.
Tip #5 - use words we all understand. Be inclusive.
Tip #6 - people will make up their own facts if you don’t start talking. Get in the fray.
Tip #7 - think of the “evergreen” questions people will ask. Start there.
Tip #8 - give your “dreaded question” some thought too. That builds confidence.
Tip #9 - it won’t be perfect but folks are likely to cut you slack if you try to fix it.
Tip #10 - you must have a plan because it’s not just a conversation.
Tip #11 - don’t over communicate. Keep it simple and strategic.
Tip #12 - use real words that have meaning. No word salad.
And now for Tip #13 - Be interesting. Say something your audience will remember and hopefully repeat.
This is one of my favorite parts of the process. I love thinking about creative ways to express the essentials.
Listen, I understand that for most people, simply having the conversation at all is a win. I agree; it is. But for those who want to take it to the next level, learn to express yourself in a way that makes it memorable too.
Here’s why; job number one is to make it easy for your audience to understand your messages, but you also want to deliver them in such a way that your audience can tell your story to someone else.
If you're trying to correct a wrong, announce change, or shore up your own or your organization’s reputation, then you want the helpful information you share to be easily repeated. Aim for the ripple effect.
Your messages should be like a pebble dropped in a lake. The more memorable and easy-to-share your words are, the more they will ripple out to additional audiences.
As I’ve covered before, say as much as you can and do it quickly. Avoid distractions, speak in plain language, keep it simple and if possible, get a little bit creative.
Make it interesting enough so that the information can be retained and repeated. That’s how you can ensure the information doesn't just stop with the people who are hearing it directly from you.
Here are a three of my favorite bits of wisdom on how you can make it memorable. Two of these come from a class on public speaking I teach using a wonderful book called Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds by Carmine Gallo.
Make it bite sized - more words doesn't necessarily lead to more understanding. I'm sure you've heard the term “soundbite.” A soundbite is a 10 to 15 second message that is just the right length to be included in a brief media clip. A soundbite hits the strategically chosen essential messages without over-communicating. It’s just long enough to be memorable too. Remember: too many words = too hard to remember.
Relate with a personal story - did you know that personal stories have a profound effect on the brain? Studies show that the brains of both the speaker and listener “sync up” when the speaker shares a personal story. Why? Because the story is relatable and listeners can more easily connect with the speaker emotionally.
There’s a great example from the book I mentioned above which illustrates this. Carmine Gallo worked with a client on a presentation and started with his introduction. When asked, “what do you do,” the client answered, “I’m the CEO of the California Strawberry Commission.” After Gallo asked him to use his personal story as an introduction instead, the client responded that he’s passionate about “the American dream. My parents were immigrants and worked in the fields. Eventually they were able to buy an acre of and and it grew from there. With strawberries, you don’t need a lot of land…It’s a stepping stone to the American dream.” That’s memorable because it evokes emotion. I’ve managed to tuck away this anecdote even though I haven’t read the book in a couple of years.
Paint a mental picture - describe something visually if you can. Your words will create a picture in the minds of your audience that will stick with them. And, if you use an actual visual prop, their memory will be even stronger because you’ve encoded the message on their brains with your words and the visual image. Kind of like I did above when I described the process by saying, “aim for the ripple effect” and included a photo. My guess is that if you remember anything from Tip #13, you’ll remember that.
Let me restate; preparing well and delivering a successful Tough Talk is definitely a win, but crafting your messages so that your audience can carry your message beyond your circle is a bonus. Aim to choose words that are simple, strategic, memorable and easy to repeat.