At this point we’re into the substance on communicating about tough topics with more clarity and purpose. The last couple of tips and this one are about the messages you use to solve your problem. This is a good place to land if you’re ready to start talking, but if you haven’t started from the beginning, go back to Tip #1 on this Substack and get caught up. In brief, here’s what we’ve covered already:
Tip #1 - be brave and decide to have the difficult conversation.
Tip #2 - communicate to solve the problem.
Tip #3 - say as much as you can upfront and get it behind you.
Tip #4 - don't say everything! Leave out the unhelpful bits.
Tip #5 - use words we all understand. Be inclusive.
Tip #6 - people will make up their own facts if you don’t start talking. Get in the fray.
Tip #7 - think of the “evergreen” questions people will ask. Start there.
Tip #8 - give your “dreaded question” some thought too. That builds confidence.
Tip #9 - it won’t be perfect but folks are likely to cut you slack if you try to fix it.
Tip #10 - you must have a plan because it’s not just a conversation.
Tip #11 - don’t over communicate. Keep it simple and strategic.
On to Tip #12 - Use real words that have meaning. Don’t offer up a word salad.
Like me, you’ve probably seen someone address a difficult topic by stringing some words together that don’t say much, let alone solve much. They have simply talked around the issue by tossing together a word salad. And it tastes terrible.
My guess is that most of the time people do it because they’re unprepared or stressed about the conversation and get tongue-tied, but oftentimes they’re doing it to protect themselves or the organization they represent. They want to get credit for saying something without saying much of anything at all.
They are breaking some of the cardinal rules about having a Tough Talk. Most important, they’re not messaging to solve the problem; they’re messaging just to be saying something. They’re using a combination of words that mean very little to the audience and they’re doing it to check a box on a to do list.
This is very unhelpful. If you’re going to the trouble of having a Tough Talk, say something that needs to be said. Address the elephant in the room. Sort out fact from fiction. Commit to healthy change. Whatever. Say something meaningful and be sure you mean it.
But if you really can’t say anything for confidentiality reasons or because of pending litigation, be honest about that and share what you can. And don’t ever say “no comment.” You probably know this already, but “no comment” is the equivalent of saying “I’m hiding something.” It’s a toxic response that may backfire.
As with any Tough Talk in a professional setting, be sure you’re working with your Legal, Risk Management, HR and PR pros to work up a satisfactory response, especially if there’s not much you can share publicly.
Focus your messages on what you are at liberty to say and politely decline to address topics that are off-limits. Here are some lovely alternatives to saying, “no comment:”
I can’t get into that because of pending litigation, but I can tell you more about…
We take confidentially seriously, so I’m not able to provide detail but I can share…
That’s a difficult topic right now so I can’t give you specifics, but I can give you some background on…
I wish I could give you a better answer than this, but I can’t tell you about that for confidentiality reasons.
I’m sure you understand, but I can’t discuss that because we’re involved in a lawsuit.
I want to be helpful, but that’s simply not something I can talk to you about.
Say something meaningful; don’t word salad your way out it. And please, for the love of God and all that is holy, don’t say “no comment.”
Tip #13 is up next - click here for a link. Preview: use strategic language to make it memorable so your supporters can help spread the word.