We’re at number 15 today which means that there are only 5 more tips to go. That is, unless I think of something that I have not sufficiently covered elsewhere. In case you want to review where we’ve been, I offer a review of each tip we’ve looked at so far.
Tip #1 - be brave and decide to have the difficult conversation.
Tip #2 - communicate to solve the problem.
Tip #3 - say as much as you can upfront and get it behind you.
Tip #4 - don't say everything! Leave out the unhelpful bits.
Tip #5 - use words we all understand. Be inclusive.
Tip #6 - people will make up their own facts if you don’t start talking. Get in the fray.
Tip #7 - think of the “evergreen” questions people will ask. Start there.
Tip #8 - give your “dreaded question” some thought too. That builds confidence.
Tip #9 - it won’t be perfect but folks are likely to cut you slack if you try to fix it.
Tip #10 - you must have a plan because it’s not just a conversation.
Tip #11 - don’t over communicate. Keep it simple and strategic.
Tip #12 - use real words that have meaning. No word salad.
Tip #13 - be interesting. Say something your audience can remember and repeat.
Tip #14 - get your head right. Your attitude will contribute to your success or not.
Now, for #15.
Remember back in third grade when you had a spelling test you hadn’t studied for. You weren’t ready so instead of facing it head on, you told your mom that you had a stomach ache so she would keep you home from school. But then you told her that you also had a sore throat. And a stubbed toe.
You offered a multi-layered reason why you simply could not be expected to go to school that day. It seemed like a sure thing. With all that working against you, surely mom would understand that you’re in no shape for academics.
Surprisingly, at least to your third grade mind, she saw right through it and hustled you off to the bus stop.
Did you learn your lesson and present a single, believable reason for skipping school the next time? Probably not.
More just seems better and well, more. Many of us have never learned the lesson that most of the time, more is just more confusing or distracting. What did mom know then that can help us now?
When we over-explain, we give the impression that we don’t have confidence in our explanation. It’s another “tell.”* Our argument needs help so we juice it to make it more impactful. And unfortunately, when we do that we give the appearance that it’s less true too.
Let that sink in a minute.
Because we lack confidence, we try to stack the deck. Over-rotate. We offer a scattershot list of reasons for people to choose from because we don’t think one explanation is enough. And it may not be.
Perhaps that’s because our one explanation is weak. Maybe it’s not the right one or maybe we stretched the truth a little.
If so, it’s time to sit down and reconsider your messaging strategy and look for the most accurate, transparent, supportable, believable reason and go with that.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to over-explain this one. I’ve made my point. Now it’s your turn to think about what I’ve said.
*Remember when I said that exhibiting a defensive attitude is “a tell” in Tip #14 - Get Your Head Right? It’s important not to let our attitudes or in this case, a propensity to over-explain hinder an otherwise helpful Tough Talk.